What a concierge can and can't do

I love this list from a NYC concierge listing the things she can and can't do. Including:

WE DON’T USUALLY DO THIS, BUT I CAN CERTAINLY:

• attempt to identify a nearby location based on your very vague recollection of something in the neighborhood
• try to arrange a very-last-minute taxi/train/shuttle to the airport
• make a last-minute rooftop bachelorette party tapas brunch reservation for 15 people
• draw an entire map of locations from “Sex and the City”
• help you track down a lost/stolen item or file a complaint about a shady business
 

I APOLOGIZE BUT UNFORTUNATELY WE CANNOT:

• get you “cheap tickets” for Book of Mormon
• get you a “free limo / taxi / shuttle”
• “watch your child for, like, an hour”
• call and ask a famous Baptist church in Harlem to let you attend the service wearing sweatpants